


post mortem

by scorchedtitan



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Gen, Spoilers, au where they definitely did die, author blatantly using fic to deal with their personal trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-30 03:16:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14487654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scorchedtitan/pseuds/scorchedtitan
Summary: Trailcutter helps Rodimus cope with death.





	post mortem

There was no noise as Rodimus, Ultra Magnus, Drift, and Ratchet reappeared in front of the others. Just a dead, dreaded silence, one highlighted by a look of quiet resignation of Rodimus’ face. He was clearly, for once, at a loss for words.

Ultra Magnus sped off to find his brother. Drift and Ratchet went to explore, argue about the philosophy of this new world they found themselves in. Swerve, Velocity, and Pipes went to find the rest of the group.

Leaving Rodimus and Trailcutter very, very alone.

Rodimus sank to a dejected ball on the ground. A pout formed on his lips. A pout that threatened, but never quite managed, to form itself into a frown. But for once, Rodimus of Nyon was very, very quiet. Something that was never good.

Trailcutter squatted down next to him, forearms resting atop his knees. “You okay? Rodimus?”

Rodimus took a deep breath in, then out. But he still did not respond. Something was working inside his head, working fast but coming up with no good resolutions. Emotions played out fleetingly on his face, like a movie in fast-forward. But nothing would come out.

Trailcutter looked around, shifting nervously. “I could try to find Rung, or get Drift back. There’s no liquor until you ascend, but to tell you the truth, even here I don’t drink. Just...tell me what you need, Captain.”

Rodimus whimpered something.

Trailcutter leaned in. “Sorry, didn’t catch that.”

Rodimus looked him directly in the eyes for a second, then looked away before repeating himself.

“Don’t call me that. I’m not your captain anymore.”

Trailcutter frowned, leaning back on his haunches, laying one leg down and crossing the other over it. He rested his arm on his knee still as he sat with Rodimus. He looked at the Matrix, hovering there in the sky, impassive, and wondered for a brief second if it could blink. They were quiet for a long time, no sound even coming over the horizon.

Eventually Rodimus looked up again, following his companion’s gaze, and spoke.

“So this is it. So I died, and Megatron escaped, and Getaway won, and Thunderclash is still a big damn hero. No Knights. No Primehood. No ship. No crew. Just. This.”

Trailcutter looked at Rodimus’ face, and took in his visage. For the first time, Rodimus looked well and truly alone. His new paint scheme mournfully reflected the shimmering lights above in its black surface, and his lip quivered slightly as he watched the sky above. He had been a beacon, a torch of red and yellow when Trailcutter had been alive. Now he was just black and blue, like a beaten human.

Rodimus sighed before speaking again. “You know, when I kept saying ‘Til’ all are one’, I don’t know if I believed it. That phrase in particular was just, like, something Optimus said that I thought sounded cool. I’ve always been a little religious, the Guiding Hand and Primus and of course the Primes, but this? This just cleaved my expectations in two.”

“It is something,” Trailcutter shrugged and agreed. “It’s a lot emptier here in the middle though. When you ascend, it’s a bit more lively, but hard to describe. You do get to keep track of modern events, at least.”

“Right, I figured.” Rodimus looked quizzically then at Trailcutter, like he’s noticed something caught in the other mech’s teeth. “Oh, by the Pit, did I get you and Pipes sucked back from ascension?” He ground his palm suddenly, then, into his face. “Dammit. Sorry about that.”

“Hey, man, it’s cool,” Trailcutter responded. “We get to go back. We’re not, y’know-“ He pointed down.

Rodimus stood suddenly, gesticulating to the air as he clearly tried to plan out what to say next. Several times Trailcutter saw him apparently reach for a subspace knife that was no longer there, a leftover habit from his days drawing into desks. Rodimus bit down hard on his lip, before deciding what he wanted to say. “No. I’m sorry about more than that. I’m sorry I got you, and Pipes, and Tailgate, and so many others killed, all on that stupid quest that just led us here. After Ki-Aleta, and then Earth, and then those weeks on Cybertron, I really should’ve learned leadership just. Isn’t my forte. But now I’m dead. There’s no more learning now.”

Trailcutter smiled softly, then invited Rodimus to sit down. The former captain frowned, but acquiesced. Trailcutter looked back at the Matrix. “We watched a lot of people die during the war.”

“No scrap, Nightbeat.”

“I’m not finished,” Trailcutter shot back. “We watched a lot of people die, and then after the war ended we all did stupid things. You know what got me killed, Rodimus? It was me, giving Energon to a mass murderer who had no right to have it.”

“But if you hadn’t been on the quest, or if I’d been able to save you in the past-“

Trailcutter conjured a forcefield to cover Rodimus’ mouth, grateful for the first time that his ability had crossed into the afterlife with him. “Everyone who joined the quest knew about the inherent risks. You don’t wrap up the dregs of a war as long as ours in a matter of a few years. Sure, Pipes didn’t expect Overlord, and Animus didn’t expect a Sparkeater, and I didn’t expect our ship to disappear, but there was no illusion that everything was gonna be fine and dandy. And you know what? We had a damn good captain leading us through all of it.”

Rodimus stopped struggling against his mouth restraint and went still. Trailcutter removed it, and waited. When the former captain finally spoke, it was in a small voice.

“But I could’ve done better.”

Trailcutter guffawed for a second, a loud, genuinely amused sound, one that could be heard for miles in this vast, quiet, empty place.

Rodimus pouted. “I don’t see the humor in that.”

Trailcutter smiled, and made full eye-contact. “We all could’ve done better. That’s kinda part of life, buddy.”

Rodimus took this in for a second, mulling it over in his head. “If I’d done better, there’d never have been a vote on my leadership. Optimus would’ve never made Megatron my co-captain. Getaway would’ve never mutinied.”

Trailcutter shook his head. “You can’t think like that. People would’ve been upset no matter what you did, even if it wasn’t as severe as Overlord. Optimus would suck up to Megatron no matter what, because they’ve known each other for so long. Getaway would’ve done something either way, because that’s the kind of guy he is.” He looked out into the empty space around them once more, and a forlorn look came across his face. “People die, Rodimus. With or without you, and with or without war. We all just forgot about that second part.”

They were quiet for a long time after that. Rodimus fidgeted, Trailcutter remained still. Their eyes remained fixed on the stars. Once in a while, Rodimus would take a deep breath as if to say something, but then exhale slowly once more. Finally he managed to find the words he needed.

“So you know about Getaway?”

“Pfft. Even if you weren’t broadcasting what happened with your every action, as I said, we can keep track once we’re truly across.”

“If you’d been there, which way would you have gone?”

Trailcutter smiled. He’d thought about this. “Same way I voted after Overlord. To follow my Captain.”

Rodimus took that in quietly, but a smile lit his face, the first properly Rodimus smile he’d had during his entire afterlife. A smile that could light Luna 2 a thousand times over. A proud smile, a sad smile.

Trailcutter stood, suddenly pretending to stretch out a kink in his back. “You good? I figure we oughta get the others and, y’know, ascend together, if that’s not too cheesy.”

Rodimus stood, and suddenly enveloped the larger mech in a long, solid hug. Trailcutter awkwardly wrapped his arms around Rodimus, until he was gently pushed away.

“Sure. Besides, I want to thank you, all of you.”

“For what?”

“I want to thank you for traveling with me.”

**Author's Note:**

> so we all expect that the "afterlife" is fake right. yeah well i wanted to explore if it was real because i have trauma. sue me.


End file.
